Married, divorced, boyfriend, girlfriend, single? Well then, this applies to you...so listen up. Love is everywhere. Right?! Yes. You can literally find it everywhere. You might challenge this and say 'But is love in a divorce, in a fight, in hate, in a war, in homelessness, in a dirty toilet?' and my answer will still be 'YES!'. Love is a positive energetic charge. It's a shift of perception, from negative to positive. When we feel sad, frustrated, hopeless and alone, we have shifted our thinking from 'yes' to 'no'. The end of a relationship might not look like love but the love that was there was initiated by a shift in perception as well. We decide to love. We make the move to either love or hate. It's obviously a much better world when we choose to love. Love is positive, warm, tender, protective, sweet, kind, grateful, loyal, nurturing, affection and happy. The key to finding love is so easy...it's just so easy I dare you to try it. Ready?
1. Let Love Rule-
Try this practice of literally sending love to everyone you talk to in one day. It's hard to send love sometimes to people you've never met on the phone, but it's also the easiest because it requires almost zero muscular effort. The hardest will be sending it to those you really do love, those that frustrate you. Send them love too! Just do it. You'll feel better, I promise.
Sorry, this is the hardest part! Try making a list, daily if possible, of the three things you are grateful for. You will be surprised how each day this list may completely change. Sometimes I'm grateful for sunshine, my boyfriend, my mother, my reliable car, a roof over my head, great friends, my godson, my dogs, healthy food...I choose only three, everyday.
3. Treat Yourself-
Uhhh...my fave! This is the best of all. Get ready to give yourself some love. Love yourself the way you want to be loved. Self-love can be interpreted however you want. It can range from alone time, meditation, journaling, a drive up the coast, a massage, a haircut, pretty flowers, a new surfboard, your favorite meal, a movie or masturbation! Yeah, all of these things are up to you to decide how you want to give yourself some love.
4. Be Open-
Stay positive. Positivity is key. We all forget this, but we need to remind ourselves that when we are open and receptive to love, we let ourselves be loved. Letting love in is just as important as loving others. If we can't be open to love, we could be missing lots of love. Let everyone love you. The homeless guy you passed in front of Starbucks, the creep that stared at you a little too long in the parking lot, the FedEx guy that delivered your package today, the girl who rang you up at CVS, the lady in traffic that cut you off, Trump, your ex, the guy/girl on Tinder with a tiger, they can all love you. See, because love costs nothing, literally everyone can love you. Even if they don't really love you or they don't say they love you, it's important for you to think about them loving you. Even a little bit of love is better than no love at all. It's hard not to be loved when you are loved, loving and love.
Ok disciples, now take all of these tips and get out there! Report back and let me know if you have any problems or SUCCESSES!!!
Bianca White for CourtesanLA
Relationship, Love & Sex Coach