Valentine’s Day 2017 "How can I help myself fill that fantasy?" - Words from a Love Coach

Are you ready for Valentine’s Day 2017? Well get ready! Because 2017 has already started off to a “HUGE” bang…and we aren't too sure if that’s going to be a great bang or a just so-so bang. For right now, we are still pretty hopeful there could be some shreds of hope for a pretty bright year in spite of our country's political uncertainty. Valentine’s Day is always a time that uncoupled or rebellious folk like to say that this holiday is just purely a Hallmark holiday created for us to just spend, spend, spend. Well, I for one, only cry that curse when I am un- happily single. When I find myself in a relationship, I am more than happy to be treated to gifts on any day of the year, including  but not especially February 14th. So this year is a pretty special one for me. I have been with my sweetheart for over a year. This will be our second Valentine’s Day together. Last year, we were still in a bit of ga-ga goo goo land with each other. He would have bought me a unicorn if I would've asked. But not this year. A year into our relationship and the pretty pink cloud we were sitting on last year when our relationship was as fresh as  spring air after the rain…is more like a regular day, doing regular things in a regular world without any fluffy pink clouds. We are firmly planted in our relationship reality now. We know each other a lot better and we aren't afraid of it. For now, we keep choosing to be together. And that is ideally, where I tell all of my clients to be- in a relationship where you keep choosing your ideal mate, everyday. My boyfriend isn't perfect, nor am I. I accept his faults and I try to help him along on his path of becoming my ideal mate. As much as I help him become my ideal mate, I have to  accept that he will try to do the same for me. So along our path, in this way- we set out to give each other help to try to become the best ideal mate that we can both possibly be. This year, for Valentines Day- this might not cost a cent. Try making a list of things you want your ideal mate to be better  at. Make sure to make the list kind and realistic. In other words, don't ask for him to be taller or to like tomatoes if he’s never going to be able to do that. Kindness, sometimes is hard, so make sure to make a list, read it over a  few times, maybe even read it to a friend and get their opinion. See if what you are saying is sweet and uplifting. For example- if you want your mate to buy you flowers, say something like “I really love when my boyfriend/husband buys me flowers” and then ask how you can achieve that by saying something like “How can I make this a reality?” So format for this list is: state what you want and ask how you can support your mate to get it. Other things that you might ask for could be- getting outside and doing more active things together, like going hiking, or you might want to start going on big exotic trips once a year or dining out to fancy foodie spots, or staying home more often to binge watch your favorite shows, or getting them to wait on you hand and foot when you're sick, or giving you more massages or taking showers together to “save water”, or helping out with the kids more so that you can have more free time to hang with your friends or time to go get your nails done. Anything you want, you can ask for. This year, I will be asking my love of my life, for more unexpected gifts. I love receiving gifts and I especially love receiving gifts from him.  So I'll say “Honey, I love getting unexpected gifts from you” and then “How can I help myself fill that fantasy?”. Now just a warning about this kind of list making…it’s kind of a bargaining tool. So your lover or you might respond to any of your requests with something that you might have to do to help you get what you want. So be ready and remember, this isn't just an ask and you’ll get it exercise. You have to be willing to put up some bargaining tools on the table to be able to get what you want.

Good luck and Happy Valentine’s Day 2017!!

love Bianca

(Hollywood Love Coach)