valentines day

Valentine’s Day 2017 "How can I help myself fill that fantasy?" - Words from a Love Coach

Are you ready for Valentine’s Day 2017? Well get ready! Because 2017 has already started off to a “HUGE” bang…and we aren't too sure if that’s going to be a great bang or a just so-so bang. For right now, we are still pretty hopeful there could be some shreds of hope for a pretty bright year in spite of our country's political uncertainty. Valentine’s Day is always a time that uncoupled or rebellious folk like to say that this holiday is just purely a Hallmark holiday created for us to just spend, spend, spend. Well, I for one, only cry that curse when I am un- happily single. When I find myself in a relationship, I am more than happy to be treated to gifts on any day of the year, including  but not especially February 14th. So this year is a pretty special one for me. I have been with my sweetheart for over a year. This will be our second Valentine’s Day together. Last year, we were still in a bit of ga-ga goo goo land with each other. He would have bought me a unicorn if I would've asked. But not this year. A year into our relationship and the pretty pink cloud we were sitting on last year when our relationship was as fresh as  spring air after the rain…is more like a regular day, doing regular things in a regular world without any fluffy pink clouds. We are firmly planted in our relationship reality now. We know each other a lot better and we aren't afraid of it. For now, we keep choosing to be together. And that is ideally, where I tell all of my clients to be- in a relationship where you keep choosing your ideal mate, everyday. My boyfriend isn't perfect, nor am I. I accept his faults and I try to help him along on his path of becoming my ideal mate. As much as I help him become my ideal mate, I have to  accept that he will try to do the same for me. So along our path, in this way- we set out to give each other help to try to become the best ideal mate that we can both possibly be. This year, for Valentines Day- this might not cost a cent. Try making a list of things you want your ideal mate to be better  at. Make sure to make the list kind and realistic. In other words, don't ask for him to be taller or to like tomatoes if he’s never going to be able to do that. Kindness, sometimes is hard, so make sure to make a list, read it over a  few times, maybe even read it to a friend and get their opinion. See if what you are saying is sweet and uplifting. For example- if you want your mate to buy you flowers, say something like “I really love when my boyfriend/husband buys me flowers” and then ask how you can achieve that by saying something like “How can I make this a reality?” So format for this list is: state what you want and ask how you can support your mate to get it. Other things that you might ask for could be- getting outside and doing more active things together, like going hiking, or you might want to start going on big exotic trips once a year or dining out to fancy foodie spots, or staying home more often to binge watch your favorite shows, or getting them to wait on you hand and foot when you're sick, or giving you more massages or taking showers together to “save water”, or helping out with the kids more so that you can have more free time to hang with your friends or time to go get your nails done. Anything you want, you can ask for. This year, I will be asking my love of my life, for more unexpected gifts. I love receiving gifts and I especially love receiving gifts from him.  So I'll say “Honey, I love getting unexpected gifts from you” and then “How can I help myself fill that fantasy?”. Now just a warning about this kind of list making…it’s kind of a bargaining tool. So your lover or you might respond to any of your requests with something that you might have to do to help you get what you want. So be ready and remember, this isn't just an ask and you’ll get it exercise. You have to be willing to put up some bargaining tools on the table to be able to get what you want.

Good luck and Happy Valentine’s Day 2017!!

love Bianca

(Hollywood Love Coach)

Valentines Day is for everyone : CourtesanLA's tips for finding Love!

Married, divorced, boyfriend, girlfriend, single? Well then, this applies to listen up. Love is everywhere. Right?! Yes. You can literally find it everywhere. You might challenge this and say 'But is love in a divorce, in a fight, in hate, in a war, in homelessness, in a dirty toilet?' and my answer will still be 'YES!'. Love is a positive energetic charge. It's a shift of perception, from negative to positive. When we feel  sad, frustrated, hopeless and alone, we have shifted our thinking from 'yes' to 'no'. The end of a relationship might not look like love but the love that was there was initiated by a shift in perception as well. We decide to love. We make the move to either love or hate. It's obviously a much better world when we choose to love. Love is positive, warm, tender, protective, sweet, kind, grateful, loyal, nurturing, affection and happy. The key to finding love is so's just so easy I dare you to try it. Ready?

1. Let Love Rule-

Try this practice of literally sending love to everyone you talk to in one day. It's hard to send love sometimes to people you've never met on the phone, but it's also the easiest because it requires almost zero muscular effort. The hardest will be sending it to those you really do love, those that frustrate you. Send them love too! Just do it. You'll feel better, I promise.


2. Gratitude-

Sorry, this is the hardest part! Try making a list, daily if possible, of the three things you are grateful for.  You will be surprised how each day this list may completely change.  Sometimes I'm grateful for sunshine, my boyfriend, my mother, my reliable car, a roof over my head, great friends, my godson, my dogs, healthy food...I choose only three, everyday.


3. Treat Yourself- fave! This is the best of all. Get ready to give yourself some love. Love yourself the way you want to be loved. Self-love can be interpreted however you want. It can range from alone time, meditation, journaling, a drive up the coast, a massage, a haircut, pretty flowers, a new surfboard, your favorite meal, a movie or masturbation! Yeah, all of these things are up to you to decide how you want to give yourself some love. 


4. Be Open-

Stay positive. Positivity is key. We all forget this, but we need to remind ourselves that when we are open and receptive to love, we let ourselves be loved. Letting love in is just as important as loving others. If we can't be open to love, we could be missing lots of love.  Let everyone love you. The homeless guy you passed in front of Starbucks, the creep that stared at you a little too long in the parking lot, the FedEx guy that delivered your package today, the girl who rang you up at CVS, the lady in traffic that cut you off, Trump, your ex, the guy/girl on Tinder with a tiger, they can all love you. See, because love costs nothing, literally everyone can love you. Even if they don't really love you or they don't say they love you, it's important for you to think about them loving you. Even a little bit of love is better than no love at all. It's hard not to be loved when you are loved, loving and love.

Ok disciples, now take all of these tips and get out there! Report back and let me know if you have any problems or SUCCESSES!!!

Be love. 

Bianca White for CourtesanLA

Relationship, Love & Sex Coach